Trouble in Paradise

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. This was my first “real” Valentine’s Day with a real boyfriend that I truly care about. B had been emailing me for a few weeks about how he was planning this special night for us. I was super excited about it, went out and bought a cute little hot pink silk shift dress and everything, just for the occasion. I bought him cute little romantic presents, spent an hour doing my hair and makeup… I shouldn’t have bothered.

The night before he told me that he didn’t want to go to a restaurant because it would be noisy and crowded and he just wanted to have a romantic night at his place with for the two of us… ok cute. I show up and there were no flowers or candles like he said there would be. Then he brings out my gift… a single red rose. I’m thinking this is just the pre-gift but nope, that’s it! And he’s really proud of it, tells me he’s never given a rose to anyone but his mother (um... ok). Then its time for dinner: microwaved chicken & rice (as in the pre-cooked kind that you buy frozen and heat up for 5 minutes… he guiltily admitted this halfway into the meal. Apparently he didn’t have “time” to cook) that we ate on plastic plates, a bottle of wine that we drank from plastic cups. Sitting on folding chairs with our plates resting on the coffee table. Romantic, huh?

I’m sorry; I’m a girl who likes romantic gestures. I’m not asking a man to shower me with diamonds and pearls (although that would be nice…), but put a little effort in. Write me a poem; take me to a nice restaurant; surprise me with presents once in a while for no reason… hell, a gift card to H&M would be happily accepted! All I wanted was a night that showed that he thinks I’m special and went to some lengths to make me happy.

My cousin is trying to assure me that he’s young; he’s never had a girlfriend before so he still needs to be trained. Sure, I understand all that is true, but do I really want to invest the time teaching someone how to be a gentleman? Its hard b/c I really do care about this person. I’ve never before felt so close to someone, so comfortable, so smitten. And I KNOW he cares about me, he just doesn’t know how to show it the way I need him to show it. But I’ll have to get all this off my chest. I have to stop pretending that I’m ok with everything, talk to him about how I feel and see how he reacts. He honestly is a great guy, he just doesn't know. But there comes a point where every woman has to decide if its time to walk away…

This feels like the year my first ever Valentine/boyfriend got me $0.99 card for Valentine’s Day and signed it, “From Anthony”. My girlfriends and I still laugh about it to this day. But then again, he was 13.